Sunday, 25 April 2010

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

  • secrets

    Secret: I feel more like a child now than I ever have.  Stupid and inexperienced and not quite right at anything at all. 

    Secret2: I'm supposed to be teaching but have learned that I hate it.  Kids are great, learning is great....the American public education system is not and neither are the majority of the teachers.  They have sacrificed much and deserve something for that, however, I am appalled at the amount of negative energy in the school systems.  It's crazy.

    Secret 3: My campus minister is driving me nuts because he thinks he needs to clean out my fridge. Uh, no thank you, I am an adult, about to be married, and am about to have my own career where I will be put in charge of the education of around 100 kids.  I think I can handle a fridge.

    Secret 4: Sometimes I just wish I could run away to the mountains and live with my man on just the bare necesities and forget about the complexities of life.  *sigh* of course, there is no such thing as running away, only cowardice and denial of which neither I wish to be.

    May God bless you and keep you.  May He wrap you in His everlasting embrace and give you the strength to conquer the negativity in your life. Hugs.

Monday, 14 December 2009

  • I don't quite understand it all.  My mind is overloaded and I feel like I have somehow missed something or been tricked.  I KNOW God is there, here...everywhere...well, I guess he has the possibility to be everywhere though technically speaking he cannot since darkness and light cannot co-exist.  Anyway, not the point.  I'M SO FRUSTRATED! and needed to bi*** on the web because I don't know who else to complain to.  He doesn't leave, he's ALWAYS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AODSKFASODFHSA[ODIHFAOSDHFAS;LDJFA;LSDKJFA;LSDKFJ A;SDKJF;ALSDKJFA;LSDJFA;SKLDJF;ALKSDJFA;LSKDJF;ALSKDJF;ALDSFHOAWRYOKMXCLV;KNMEORHJF

    FUDGE, and now he wants to peek over my shoulder and will probably find a way to read this so I can't even say anything on HERE! ugh!

Saturday, 12 September 2009

  • Broken Glass

    You know that scene in movies where all is silent as a glass of wine slowly falls to its end in shattered pieces on cold hard floors with blood red liquid everywhere?  Finally, the sound of shattered glass reaches everyone's ears and the screne shifts to the dumb struck face of the person who let the glass slip.

    That's what I feel like tonight.

Saturday, 05 September 2009

  • It Was Worth It

    I feel it would be rather rude of me not to update you all...if you don't care, that's fine too.  

    To clarify, I did not say we needed to break up and wait, he dumped me and then wanted me to come back which is when I said I need time.

    What happened during that time? I went out with my girls to drink and dance.  I wore semi-slutty clothes and tried to make myself feel beautiful.  Different guys hit on me which boosted my self-confidence a little but this is what I realized:

    None of them looked as good as him

    None of them danced with me as well as him, moving in sync together on the dance floor

    None of them cared about me...just what I might do for them (which I didn't even kiss ANYBODY during that time)

    I was not attracted to anybody and felt like I was cheating on him if the thought ever popped up of trying to find someone to date

    It devastated me when he asked the other girl to be his girlfriend so soon after we broke up

    And I finally realized he's the one I want to be with...forever...

    We're getting married in a year.

    It was worth the wait after all.

    .....................................

    Thanks for all the advice, trust me, even the "negative" ones were good.  I do not deny my faults or that I may not be worth it, but it's nice to know someone is willing to fight for you even when you feel worthless.

cherrypit7

  • Visit cherrypit7's Xanga Site
    • Name: cherrypit7
    • Location: Emporia, Kansas, United States
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 8/3/2009

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